What Betrayal Taught Me When I Started Looking at the Bible

Dealing with betrayal as a Christian means learning to look at your own hurt through Scripture instead of carrying it alone.

I used to be very affected by what I considered betrayal in my life. Sometimes my mind would go back to past betrayal and hurt—things people did, things people said, things that happened years ago—and I would replay them.

But one thing that started helping me was looking at the biblical connection.

How Do You Deal With Past Betrayal and Hurt as a Christian?

I’ve learned that one thing that helps me when my mind goes back to past betrayal and hurt is looking at the biblical connection — even David, one of the strongest kings, was betrayed by people close to him. If it happened to the biggest people in the Bible, it can happen to anybody, and that helped me put things into perspective instead of feeling like my situation was something unusual.

A few things I’ve come to understand:

• Betrayal is not unique to you — it happened to people God used in powerful ways
• Fear of being lonely can be part of why you stay in situations longer than you should
• Things that once felt so significant often look small looking back
• The only One who truly matters and still matters is God

David’s Story Really Amazes Me. Dealing with Betrayal as a christian

David’s story really amazes me. David was a warrior king, one of the strongest kings, and even he was betrayed by people close to him.

Of course, his sins and everything around his life have their own story behind them, but it still amazed me that someone like David could go through betrayal from people close to him.

That started making me think differently about my own life.

I Started Thinking: If It Happened to Them, It Can Happen to Anybody

There are so many stories in the Bible where people went through betrayal.

And for me, when my mind goes back to past betrayal and hurt, I start looking at that biblical connection. Even the biggest people in the Bible went through it, and if that happened to them, most likely it is going to happen to anybody else.

That helped me put things into perspective.

I Had Carried a Lot of Anger and Grudge

For a long time, I had been dealing with grudge and anger—feeling disrespected, feeling talked about, feeling ridiculed by so-called people that I thought were friends.

At the time, I thought they were my friends. Looking back now, I know some of them were really just using me for what I provided at the time.

And for a long time, that affected me.

Some of It Gave Me Anxiety and Panic Attacks

For a long time, it gave me anxiety and panic attacks because at some point in my life, some of those same people really went out of their way to smear and hurt my reputation.

And the funny thing is, when they were doing it, I didn’t even know what was happening.

That is the crazy part. I didn’t know.

Later, I started realizing what had happened, and I carried that for a long time.

I Stayed Because I Was Afraid of Being Lonely

As I disconnected from those people, I started understanding something about myself.

I know now one of the reasons I stayed was because I was afraid of being lonely. That was a big part of it. I didn’t want to be alone.

And when I finally left, I did go into that loneliness journey. That was a journey of its own.

I Never Really Understood Why I Was So Fearful

I never really understood why I was so afraid and fearful. I acted like I wasn’t, but I was.

I was a very scared person, paranoid all the time, and it bothered me.

I would look at other people and see how easily they seemed to make friends, and that was never really me.

Over time, that starts to erode your self-esteem.

Looking Back, Some of Those Things Seem So Small Now

It is so funny how you look back and things that made you scared, or things you thought were so significant, can look so silly later.

At the time, those things felt huge—what people thought, what people said, whether someone liked me, whether I had friends, whether people were talking about me.

Those things felt so important.

Looking back now, they don’t feel the same.

The Only One Who Really Matters Is God

The only One that matters and mattered is God.

That is what I understand now.

People come and go. Friendships change. People can betray you, misunderstand you, or talk about you.

But God is still God.

And that is where I started looking at things differently.

The Bible Helped Me Put My Own Hurt Into Perspective

When I think about David and other people in the Bible who went through betrayal, it reminds me that this is not something that only happened to me.

People have gone through betrayal for a very long time, even people God used in powerful ways.

That does not make betrayal feel good, but it helped me stop looking at my own situation like it was something so unusual.

If it happened to them, it can happen to anybody else.

My Mind Still Goes Back Sometimes

Sometimes my mind still goes back to past betrayal and past hurt—things people did and things people said.

But now I try to look at the biblical connection.

That helps me because I know now that betrayal can happen. It happened to people in the Bible. It happened to me. And most likely it happens to many people.

But I don’t want to live my whole life stuck there.

I Look at It Differently Now

Looking back, I understand a lot more now.

I understand why I stayed around some people. I understand that fear of loneliness was part of it. I understand how much I cared about being liked, and how much other people’s opinions affected me.

And I understand that a lot of what felt so significant at the time really was not as significant as I thought.

The only One who truly mattered and still matters is God.

And when my mind goes back to betrayal, that is what I try to remember.

“In Psalm 55, David writes about the pain of being betrayed not by an enemy, but by a close friend he once walked with in fellowship — someone who knew exactly where it would hurt most.