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I Never Thought I Would Be Writing a Christian Blog

I never thought I would be writing a Christian blog. I really didn’t.

I never pictured myself doing anything that resembled a personal ministry, writing about God, talking openly about my failures, my marriage, my money mistakes, fatherhood, discipline, or the seasons when my spiritual life wasn’t where I knew it should be.

I don’t want to write from a place of pretending I have arrived. I want to write while I’m still walking.

What I Never Had, I’m Giving My Son

Growing up, all the male models I saw were womanizers, different women. I never really had a father figure I could call a father figure — somebody who actually shaped me and told me what a man should be, what a man should do, how he should carry himself, how he should interact.

I was raised mostly by my grandparents. I had a really great childhood, but because they were older, and I was the last child, people tended to let me do whatever I wanted to do.

Becoming a father shook me and woke me up spiritually — it changed me from my foundation.

And Somehow This Even Led Me to This Blog

For a long time I struggled with discipline. Actually, pretty much all my life. Not committing. Starting something and not finishing.

And before I knew it, I was looking at almost $50,000 in debt.

Faith doesn’t mean I ignore the situation. I can trust Him and still look at the balances.

I never thought I would write a blog. Let alone write about my dirty laundry. Never in a million years. But maybe my dirty laundry helps somebody else.

My Goal Right Now Is Not to Become a Perfect Christian

My goal is closeness. I want to know God more. I want prayer to become normal again. I want His Word to become part of my everyday life again. I want to be a better husband. I want to be completely present as a father. I want money to serve the purpose God gives it instead of controlling me.

I’m Still in the Middle of This Story

I’m not writing this from some mountaintop. I’m rebuilding too.

Maybe somebody needs to hear from someone who is still rebuilding.

Maybe somebody needs to know that you don’t have to wait until you’re spiritually impressive to turn toward God.

Turn around. Take one step. Then another.

To God be the glory.

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