What I Never Had, I’m Giving My Son
This is my Christian father testimony. It is fascinating to be a parent, and to be a father. As a father, it amazes me how God works.
Growing up, all the male models I saw were womanizers, different women. I never really had a father figure I could call a father figure — somebody who actually shaped me and told me what a man should be, what a man should do, how he should carry himself, how he should interact. I kind of lived by my own advice.
I was raised mostly by my grandparents. I had a really great childhood, but because they were older, and I was the last child, people tended to let me do whatever I wanted to do. I could pretty much get away with stuff. Growing up, I never really thought about what fatherhood meant, because I never knew it.
Then I had my first child. And it was a moment I can never forget.
Becoming a father shook me and woke me up spiritually — it changed me from my foundation. Growing up without a father figure, I never really knew what fatherhood meant, until my son locked eyes with me the moment he was born. That moment, along with years of loneliness before it, taught me things about myself I needed to learn before I could become the father I never had.
Key Takeaways
- A Spiritual Awakening at Birth: When my son was born, it really shook me and woke me up spiritually — it’s like my son knew exactly who his father was the moment he locked eyes with me.
- Breaking a Generational Cycle: I never really had a father figure that shaped me or told me what a man should be — and that’s exactly what I’m working to give my son instead.
- Loneliness Had a Purpose: I know God allowed my years of loneliness because it taught me a lot about myself, before I ever met my wife or became a father.
- Fatherhood Made Me Protective: Being a father made me the protective one — always making sure I’m doing the right thing and teaching my child correctly.
- Discipline Is the Legacy I’m Building: My child models every single thing that I do, so I take the discipline of prayer, habits, and daily faith more seriously now than I ever did before.
The Moment My Son Was Born – Christian father testimony
When my son was born, it really shook me and woke me up spiritually.
I was in the delivery room with my wife, trying to record the whole moment — which I still have, thank goodness. I remember how he immediately just locked eyes with me from birth. It’s like my son knew exactly who his father was.
I can never forget that moment.
“As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.” — Psalm 103:13
The journey of fatherhood has been extremely blessed. He blessed me with the opportunity to be near my child every single day.
Children Raise You Too
We think the parents are raising the children, but children raise you too. They make you a better person. You see love differently. You see spirit differently. Just seeing another human being so excited to see you, loving you unconditionally, changes something in you.
For me, I had been through a season of loneliness for a very long time. I know God allowed it, because it taught me things about myself. It wasn’t easy — there were years when not a single person even called my phone. Not a single person. Besides telemarketers, which I think I used to pick up too.
I always had this feeling of wanting to be liked, wanting to make friends easily like other people did. For years, until I met my wife, I never really had a single friend. Sometimes the nights could get lonely. The holidays could be tough. You just go to work, come home, and nobody calls you. After a while, you get numb to it.
When I met my wife, I was so grateful to have somebody to share something with. But I wasn’t perfect either — I was going through my own things. Misery loves company, and loneliness had left me a little sour, a little angry with the world. It took me a long time to get over that chip on my shoulder.
God blessed me with an amazing wife — a story on its own, how God put it in my heart to meet my spouse. I know in this world there is only one woman who could have kept up with me and dealt with everything I had to go through. I’m forever thankful for having her in my life.
I Wasn’t Ready for Children at First
My wife always wanted children. I wasn’t ready at the time — I didn’t know anything about having kids. All I cared about was seeing if I could go out and make some money, travel, do all the things I wanted to do. Maybe children down the line.
But God had other plans.
Right after COVID, I think a lot of people had an awakening. I think I did too. God put it in her heart, and in mine, to want a child. We agreed. And God is good — He blessed us with one.
I Cannot Imagine Life Without Being a Father
I don’t even know how I lived life without being a father. It changed me from my foundation. To be able to care for someone other than yourself changes you immensely.
It showed me how much God loves us. I know I, as a sinner, can love my child this much — how much more does God love us? His love is abundant. I see His work in everything.
Being a father also made me protective. You overthink things. You want to make sure your child is safe, that you’re doing the right thing, that you’re teaching them correctly. It’s shown me how much fear I used to carry underneath everything.
But everything I have, everything I do, everything I’m going to do — it happened by the grace of God. Because of God.
What I Want to Teach My Son
Because I never really had a male figure to get advice from, I think a lot now about what I want to teach my child. What I’m doing now is almost the opposite of what I lived.
I want to teach him how to live the Christian way — what the values are, what he needs to grow up with so he doesn’t make the same mistakes I did.
My child sees me in everything. He models every single thing I do. That scares me — and it’s made me take discipline more seriously. The discipline of exercising. Of keeping our house in order. Of getting ready for the next day. Of reading. Of meditating on God. Of prayer. Every area of life.
I’m still a work in progress. But I enjoy those things now. They’ve made me a better man.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6
A Prayer for Christian Fathers Building Something New
If you’re looking for a Christian father testimony that’s honest about the hard parts too,
If you never had the example you needed either — if you’re figuring fatherhood, or manhood,
or faith out as you go — I want you to pray this with me
Lord, thank You for trusting me with this child. I may not have had the example I needed, but You are the perfect Father, and I ask You to shape me into who You’ve called me to be for my family. Break every generational pattern that doesn’t belong in my home. Give me discipline where I’ve had none, wisdom where I’ve had fear, and patience where I’ve had a short fuse. Let my child see You in me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Fatherhood is something I never really understood before I became a father. Now I cannot imagine life without it. It changed me from my foundation.
(Save this pin if this spoke to you — someone in your circle probably needs it too.)